Friends of "Ducky"

Ladies, I hear that Rubber Ducky told you something I said the other day which offended her and your sensibilities. I apologize for the tack less comment both to you and especially to the "Ducky". It wasn't meant to harm, hurt, or offend. I have a dire lack in the social graces and often suffer from "Hoof in Mouth Disease". Please accept my apology.

The offence related to a reference to one of the following which are rules for dating given me by my friends or relatives:

First: Child-lings: Any potential date must be within two years older or five years younger. No children allowed younger than eighteen (no one can call me daddy but them).

Second: Friends & Relatives: Any potential dates must be under 125 pounds, near two thirds of my age, and rate an 8+ on the Hottie scale (most of my single friends operate under this one).

Others get even worse so I will not convey them.

My response to the first and second requirements is a good "belly laugh". Regular people (like me) need not apply. Those requirements don't suite me at all because they rule out chemistry, personality, and character.

Sometimes in explaining situations to people I say too much or just say the wrong things as in my conversation with the Ducky. That is a part of me that I am working on and also why I don't claim to be a gentlemen but do claim the Redneck status. As Jeff Foxworthy says: "A Glorious Absence of Sophistication".