Kitties Kitties In My Hair (If I Had Any)

Well the Christmas Kittie Offer is over I guess. Between no responses and one persistent Rubber Ducky I guess they are here to stay. While I took my annual Christmas Vacation in Pigeon Forge, TN the Ducky took them to the vet for the price of almost two "C" notes. Well I have too much invested to turn back now and it ends up that I am not allergic to them as others are.

I made a full recovery from my respiratory problems during my trip and it hasn't returned upon my arrival home despite the kitties scaling my bed and pouncing all over me each night. Yes they are both here in my lap trying to edit this blog so I won't try and give them away again.

They are currently in that "Growth Spurt" mode where you can see them getting bigger by the hour. That is how they scaled my bed. "PING" scaled the bed first and "PONG" had to grow about six more hours to reach the minimum size for bed climbing. Now they climb everything like this morning where they finally got big enough to scale the bathtub with me in it. Well I couldn't resist. KITTY BATH TIME. They were not impressed. HA

Now I need a new security system. Before you could hear a mouse scurry across the hardwood floors in the house. A uninvited visitor would be easy to detect. With indoor kitties it sounds like a heard of Jackalopes thundering through the house each night which negates the security feature inherent in the house construction. Where did that number for "ADT" go anyway?

After the holiday season the only thing which needs to go on a diet is my budget. It put on too many $$$$$$ during the holidays so out comes the emergency Credit Card eradication system developed for just such occurrences.

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!!

FREE CHRISTMAS KITTIES

Unfortunately everyone in my family almost are alergic to the kittens. Sunday the 14th. my clildlings and in-law childlings came over to the house for Birthday/Christmas celebration. By the time everyone left half had alergy reactions to the kitties. I have been sick for a week with sinus and it gets worse whem I am around the kittens so I am proberbly allergic also.

FREE to a good home. One male and one female kitten. Ten weeks old. sweet, lovable, and litter box trained. Ready to go. No vet visits have been made yet (another horror story).

Will deliver within 50 miles of Huntsville, AL or Scottsboro, AL., otherwise come and get them.

I hate losing them but it is for the best. Just reply to this blog.

Time Slips Away

WOW! it has been almost a month since I have blogged anything. Time flies when you are busy juggling schedules with fiends of all kinds.

In the last month I have adopted two kittens into the house, made one new girl friend, upset one ex-girl friend, taken one "Stop The World And Let Me Off" weekend alone trip to Pigeon Forge, TN, did a double dinner theatre weekend in Atlanta, GA and Pigeon Forge, TN, and am about to do the annual Birthday/Christmas thing with my child lings and friends.

The kittens are coming along great as you can tell by my new kitten Christmas Ornament on the tree. They are house broke and have accepted me as the "Top Kat" of the house. I made a feeble attempt to take them to the vet for their initial checkup but they decided to sabotage that trip. Raising kittens is like raising child lings. There are a lot of lessons to be learned. First never take kittens to the vet with a full belly in an open basket. You guessed it. They pooped, got it on their bodies, and insisted to leave the basket to paint my car in poop. It gets really hard to drive with two kittens determined to escape their basket to escape their poop. I managed to get them home with minimal soiling of the car but I can't say the same for the kittens. They were a mess. At least they took their bath as well as could be expected and didn't hold any grudges after the fact. They still trust me but I know to hold their food and use a carrier for this Saturday when I try again.

I know call me crazy but Thanksgiving weekend consisted of a meeting of three of my favorite female friends (very risky but worth it). Rubber Ducky, Shades (ex-girl friend), Bat Woman II (new girl friend), and yours truly. Actually two of my friends and two of Bat Woman's friends were supposed to also show up but they skipped out which made the meeting more difficult. Actually everything went very well in my opinion, however, I am not a master at female to female communication skills so some messages were sent between parties that I didn't pick up on which made some minor damage control necessary after the party was over. Very little blood was drawn but a few scratches needed to heal.

That is about the time when I declared a "ROAD TRIP" for me to Pigeon Forge, TN. Yes I spent too much money but I did get most of my Christmas shopping done and also ended up with a new wardrobe to boot. It did give me time to think and get my head back on straight. Ducky may disagree with that but don't listen to her.

My last adventure was with Rubber Ducky and child ling #3 in a two day dinner theatre marathon weekend. Two days in two states with two women at two dinner shows. It doesn't get any better than that even though I drove about 14 hours while they slept, listened to music, and watched movies. Overall it was a good trip with my child ling and friend even though I locked all my keys in my house upon leaving. I really wanted to drive Duckie's new car anyway. HA No harm done. Just two additional hours in the car and one upset friend in retrieving my spare house keys. All in the adventure.

Again this weekend will be busy with nonstop activities with friends and relatives but that is just what makes this season special. Especially for people like me whose birthday comes between Thanksgiving and the middle of January.

Remember the theme of the season. Be thankful for all you have even if it isn't everything you want. Honor the Creator who gave his Son for our well being. Welcome the opportunity for a new start every day. Always be a blessing not a curse to your fellow man.

Finally slow down and smell the roses before they fade away for time is short for us all.

Buried Treasure

The Bible is full of parables but two similar parables stand out for me this weekend. They are two in one. Both say the same thing and the lesson to be learned must be really important since they are told back to back.

Matthew 13: 44–46 (NIV)

44: The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all that he had and bought that field.
45: Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls.
46: When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.

Both parables indicate that the Kingdom of Heaven is the ultimate treasure to be found and it is, however, sometimes there are earthly treasures placed along out paths that can also be very valuable to our walk through life.

How do we handle the treasures placed along our path? Do we forsake everything from our past to acquire the better treasure as indicated in the parable? Do we admire the treasure but walk past because we can’t let go of the inferior treasures we have collected in the past? Do we pass it by because we are unwilling to give up past alliances which are unhealthy to our walk? Finally do we try to hold on to our past treasures or alliances and take the new treasure.

In forsaking all we purchase the treasure with our sacrifice which releases the full benefit of the treasure to change our path and make the way easier.

By passing the treasure by we receive a temporary benefit from the treasure as we pass by but in leaving the treasure behind results in our loosing its influence on our path. We just trudge on in our walk through life in the same old rut just getting deeper and harder to travel.

Holding on to our past and trying to take the new treasure is likened to stealing another’s property because we haven’t purchased it. The weight of the past added to the burden of the stolen treasure weighs us down and grinds us into the path of life until we eventually have to give up everything just to continue.

How many times have we passed up opportunities to change our path but didn’t because of the sacrifice involved? I know that I have and have missed a blessing as a result.

May we each have the maturity and wisdom to find the treasures placed in our path for positive change. Then we should count the cost to determine what a bargain it is. If we do then it will be well worth the sacrifice.

New Addition

New addition to the TomKat clan.

Eat My Dust !!!!

Last weekend I traveled to Kentwood, LA which is the home of B. S. to visit Woody Pop, Poolman, and Coreymon. While there we loaded up the trailer and headed to the Nest of Box, Box Top, Shoe Box, and Toy Box.

A couple weeks ago Poolman took his dozier and cleared an area in the south forty next to the creek. The ground was still pretty rough so everyone grabbed either a machete, chain saw, or brush cutter and commenced to fine tune the landscape for some action.

What kind of action you say? Four-wheeler action of course. Once the clearing was complete off the four-wheelers came from the trailer. Now it was time for some real fun. In the beginning Poolman rode Shoe Box, Woody Pop rode Coreymon, Box rode Box Top, and I rode Toy Box.

Slowly we explored the new virgin territory as well as some old trails carved out of the undergrowth. As we gain confidence in our abilities to navigate the landscape the competitive natures in everyone surfaced. The chase was on.

As we chased each other around the landscape in a very short time we had churned the ground into a fine white powder. A powder so fine that it bellowed into the air making a huge dust storm that reached for the heavens.

The machine in front had the advantage of relatively clean air while everyone behind had to eat dust. After awhile everyone converted to single mode for some real chase sequences. Box being the best rider of the group constantly challenged me to a duel since I am known as a wild man on a four-wheeler (just ask Shades who has ridden with me several times). I love sand riding but that is a different story.

Me being the sharp cookie I am I know how to win (cheat). Box is sharp but not always the most observant. I knew that if I waited he would let his guard down and I would have the advantage. Like the time he wanted to race. I said that I will call the start. He was ready but made the fatal mistake of taking his hands off the handlebars so I said GO and nailed it. Eating my dust he couldn't tell where I or he was going so ultimately I won. OK OK that was dirty but he really is faster than me so I needed some sort of advantage.

At one point of the day Poolman went to the house for a break and said that the dust cloud had totally covered the neighbors property. It is a wonder they didn't try and shut us down. Ha

Later that day when the riding was done everyone there looked like they were coated in flower ready to be deep fried. Yes we were dirty but it was great fun. The only thing better would be rain and the mud it would produce. Mud riding beats dust riding but sand is king in my book.

To finish this story the next day Box showed me who was the best rider. We were on a narrow rabbit trail carved out of the creek bed at the Hollow. This trail is narrow, rough, has hair pin turns, and is difficult to ride fast without ending up wrapped up in the underbrush. Well Box started out with Tool Box on the back. I just had me. He started just in front of me. I rode as fast as I dared and half way through the course Box and Tool Box jumped in behind me.

Little did I know that Box had finished the course and rejoined me half way through the trail. I can't touch that. Tool Box being a little daredevil himself even told Box to slow down on that run. It was an impressive run but was not the smartest run ever made.

In the end I finished the weekend by beating Box in a mock wrestling match, however, me being twenty plus years older than him well you know I had to cheat. Ha Old geezers fight dirty.

It was a great weekend with family. May we all make such good memories.

Let's Play Restaurant !!!

Rubber Ducky tells an interesting tale on one of her friends (you know who you are).

It appears that in her younger days this friend was quite a manipulator of her younger sister. For her younger sister had a strength to be used and a weakness to be exploited.

The young girl’s strength was Waffles. She could make the most delicious waffles. Her weakness was a simple fact that she wanted to be included in her older sister’s activities. She didn’t like to be excluded from the bigger girls.

The scam was perpetrated as follows:

The younger girl wanted to play with the older girls so the older girls agreed if she would play “RESTAURANT”. The game was simple. The older girls were always the customers and the younger girl always owned the restaurant.

The older girls would go to the table and be waited on by the younger girl. The younger girl would take the orders, bring the beverages, cook the food (real food not imaginary), serve the food, and clean the table. When the meal was complete the younger girl would say: “Since I cooked the food you can clean the dishes.” But the older girls would say: “In the restaurant business the restaurant owner cleans the dishes not the customers.”

The younger girl would clean the dishes while the older girls would go their own way and play thereby further excluding the young girl from their activities.

That sounds like a good game, however, this older sister did not play by the entire rules of the restaurant business. Everyone knows that customers that don’t pay for their meals have to wash the dishes and customers who don’t wash the dishes have to pay for the meal. So it looks like the older sister owes her little sister quite a bit of money.

Let’s just say this game was played once a week for three years with the older sister and one friend. That would be 312 meals at an average of $3.50 per meal. That is a total of $1092.00. Now let’s charge 3% interest compounded daily (inflation) for approximately 25 years.

WOW!!! It appears that the older sister owes her younger sister $2,311.69 for those meals.

OK big sister now it is time to pay up (a copy of this is being sent to your younger sister for collections).

MANIFEST DESTINY

Once upon a time in a land far away on a golden seacoast lived a man with his wife and daughter. They were a family of simple means and lived in a simple house near the sea. For many years this family lived by the sea in tranquility but became discouraged each time their home was damaged by the constant storms arriving from the sea.

One day they decided to move from the seacoast and find a safer more stable environment to live. They had heard of the land of the smoking mountains in the province of Tennessee and had set their heart on living there someday.

As they pondered the move and made their plans for the journey a carnival came to their town. While taking their daughter to the carnival they struck up a conversation with the carnival owner. Knowing that he had traveled throughout all the lands they inquired as to where the fairest land was to be found. He told them of a land in the province of Alabama near the village of Gunter, Boaz, and Alberta. North in this province is a land of rolling hills surrounded by a great lake. That was the land he had chosen for himself when his carnival days were over.

This land sounded nice but their hearts were still set upon the province of Tennessee with its towering mountains and gentle springs. Later that week the man of the house became ill and had to be rushed to the local infirmary. While there the wife met a stranger from a far away land. As if by divine intervention it was revealed that the stranger had come from the northern part of the province of Alabama near the very same land spoken of by the carnival owner. The stranger gave a very favorable report of living in that land for many years.

Upon telling her husband of the chance encounter with the stranger and her account of the land he became curious and began making inquiries about this particular land. He discovered that the land was no further away than the province in Tennessee and began to reconsider the location of their new home.

The lady contacted her father about their planned move to a new land and asked his advice. He revealed to her that a longtime family friend had just several months prior moved to a community in the northern Alabama province. Further inquiry revealed that the friend lived just a moderate distance from the village of Gunter and highly recommended the land for their new home.

Everything seemed to be leading them to the province of Alabama. They began to settle their hearts on a move to the province of Alabama.

Finally the day came when they felt in their hearts that it was time to take action. They put their property up for sale and waited. To their amazement all their property sold not only within the week but also for the price in coin that they were asking. That was the conformation they needed that the move was the right thing for their family.

Traveling to the new land they quickly found a house that met all their needs and for a price that required very few coins above what they had left from the sale of their house on the seacoast. The family embraced their Manifest Destiny, moved into the new house in the new land, and LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

It is real easy to turn real life into a Fairy Tale. Just begin with Once Upon A Time and end with Lived Happily Ever After. Turning the Fairy Tale into real life is tough because of the Lived Happily Ever After part. Happy Ever After takes work and effort by all parties in the Fairy Tale. Just one deviation by one character and Happy Ever After falls apart.

Fortunately Happy Ever After can live on in the hearts of the characters who do believe in the dreams and magic in the Fairy Tale. As in this tale. Find your Manifest Destiny and follow it wherever it leads. It may not be easy but it will be rewarding.

So go find your Manifest Destiny believe in it with all your heart and LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

GONE FISHIN - Catch & Release

This blog site was started as a social experiment which has worked. It has led me out of my shell. Thanks to Rubber Ducky for suggesting it.

Recently I have joined the Grand Fishing Tournament of Life. It consists of a game of Catch & Release of various species of fish in the Sea of Life. The only bait that can be used is the bait that you bring with you. There is no tackle shop of little tricks. The rules are simple and are as follows:

Bring your own bait and equipment.
Cast your bait as much as you like.
Catch as many as you can.
Only one fish allowed in the boat live well at a time.
Every fish caught must be kept until the next fish is caught.
Every new fish will be compared to the last fish caught and the least desirable must be released.
Only Tournament Legal fish can be added to the live well.
Illegal fish must be released until determined legal by the Tournament Official.

The goal is to keep fishing until you catch the fish designated by the Tournament Official as the best suited for your live well.

The reward is the last fish in your live well.

There are only two prizes awarded:

Tournament Grand Champion - Happy rewarding life.
Tournament Booby - Miserable existence or divorce and more time alone.

The difference in being Grand Champion or Booby lies in the right or wrong fish in the live well when you exit the Tournament of Life. You can leave at any time and do have the option to throw all the fish back when leaving but very few take this option.

You may say that this game is easy and it is. The hard part is grading the fish and determining which ones to keep and which ones to release. The Tournament Official leaves the decisions to you. He only gives little tugs on your heart or little thoughts in your head to help you in your judging for his rule for himself is to not override your free will which in combination with your heart is your most important tool. Too many fishermen use their eyes and head primarily (ignoring the heart) and make bad judgment decisions.

The fisherman to play the game well must be able to determine first of all which fish are legal and which are illegal. The Tournament Official has determined the following classifications of fish:

LEGAL FISH:

Singlefish
Widowfish
Divorcefish

ILLEGAL FISH:

Marriedfish
SWODfish (Separated but not Divorced)
SSfish (Same Sex)

I have only entered the Tournament a short time ago and have had very limited success as indicated below:

One Divorcefish got to boat but jumped off hook and jumped back into the sea.
One SWODfish almost made it to the boat but was released before it was landed.
Another SWODfish jumped into the boat and is swimming for the live well. This fish is currently seeking a reclassification by the Tournament Official for a chance at the live well.

Such is life in the Grand Fishing Tournament of Life. As all true fishermen know. The more times you cast the bait the more likely you are of landing the keeper. Just keep on casting and don’t quit until you are crowned “Tournament Grand Champion”.

HAPPY FISHIN!!!!

Shadow Warriors Ride Again (I Think)

Monday, Columbus Day: The Shadow Warriors are all set for a 250 mile ride through Alabama, Georgia, and Tennessee. Well almost. Just two warriors were scheduled to go and one (Painter) bailed out at the last minute with some lame excuse about having to work. Where is his priorities? He can work anytime (independent contractor) but not on play time.

Well there I was with a bike full of gas and a carefully planned 250 mile tour of the hill country. In frustration I slept in until almost 8:30 then I was off on my lone adventure. As I rode I said to myself: "Self; since it is just you and the road and have no deadlines or encumbrances at all you should go to the Bat cave and take Bat Woman for lunch. Good Idea I told myself since it will be only a slight detour from the projected route." Off I rode to the Bat cave.

Little did I know that the Bat Woman is a very busy entity and doesn't have time for nice things such as lunch. Worlds to save and all that. Arriving at the Bat cave and discovering this fact I elected to accompany her in one of her immediate task. Subsequent to finishing this task Bat Woman informed me that she had a very special and dangerous task to perform later and she wondered if I had the right stuff (will couch potatoes do?) to accompany her. Not to reveal the wimp that I am I accepted the challenge.

Swoosh!!! Off to my bike to get my Super Suit or "Potato Man" outfit. Equipped with a hardhat, light, rubber rain suit, and biker boots I was ready for action (NOT).

Finally the hour arose when the adventure was to commence. Bat Woman started with prayer (some of us needed it more than others) and off we went diving into the remote parts of the Bat cave. First we climbed a small waterfall, slithered through some sticky mud, and skidded down a slippery slope into the darkness. After a time of walking and crab walking we arrived at a vertical crevice. I said: "Where do we go now?" Bat Woman said: "Up there." Up there just so happened to be about twelve feet up a one foot wide crevice. Bat Woman said: "This is how I do it" and up the crevice she went. I was next and discovered that potatoes do not climb nearly as well as bats. Bat Woman who is always prepared let down a slimy bat rope that felt like a spider web, however, it was just what the Potato needed for the ascent.

After looking in a room with a 600 year old foot print we came to the next major obstacle. Bat Woman said: "Just slither across this narrow ledge like this." Swoosh!! She was gone and looking at me said: "Your turn." Slithering across a ten foot long and three foot wide muddy ledge leaning into the abyss is not my idea of fun but I managed it at great effort, however, not without consequences for by this time the rubber suit was taking its revenge on me. I was severely overheating and couldn't defog my glasses which meant that I also couldn't see very well (bat vision or sonar would have been great right now).

Onward we went to the last main room which I elected to sit out due to my overheated condition (baked potatoes get smashed easily) and it was reported to be a difficult room to enter and return from. The break was just what I needed. Soon the adventure ended. Leaving the cave I resembled a baked potato covered in gravy (mud). I think I hauled it all out.

The adventure was over and I said my adieus to the Bat Woman and her domain. Happily I rode Shadow home for a good soak in the hot tub. It felt good to do something beyond my normal abilities. I owe it all to Bat Woman and my Super Suit.

Good-bye My Lady - Conclusion

With the entity gone Lady slowly began to get better but her recovery was a long hard battle. The alchemist and clergy made frequent visits to access her progress. Slowly the Lady regained her will to live. Thoughts of her mother’s sinister plans for her haunted her. To be set up to become the servant of the entity or be destroyed by it was unthinkable to her.

My Lady learned a hard lesson in this world. Loyalties and affections can be pure and true or perverse to the core and wisdom and judgment are required to tell the difference.

The Lady grew in health and in wisdom for her eyes were opened to many things in the world where in the past she had been blinded and sheltered by her family. No more did she believe just what she was told to her by others but learned to discern for herself the true and just statements, actions, and motives of the people around her. As she grew her need for my guidance grew less and less.

I knew it was my time to go and leave her to her own desires, dreams, and wishes just as I needed to follow my individual desires, dreams, and wishes.

One day word came to me that an estate which I had admired years before owned by a good friend of mine had became available. It was located in the adjoining province of Jackson in a remote area which was just perfect for my needs. My good friend offered it to me at a fair price of coin. I just couldn't let this deal pass so I purchased the property and prepared to move from the Lady’s estate.

The Lady was well and convinced me that she could manage her life and estate wisely so I departed for the Lady had grown in maturity and wisdom and I had every confidence in her abilities to succeed in her affairs.

As I rode Shadow away from the Lady’s estate I said: “Good-bye My Lady for I will always be your friend and protector.”

COMMENT CORNER

To anonymous,

The answer to your first question is yes. Almost everyone who approached that room felt the presence of the entity before they were told anything about it at all. From my child-lings to my sister's friend. And no it never bothered anyone who slept in the house except for the Lady and I. It only attacked me because I was protecting the Lady. Others who tried to help were driven away. Eventually its hiding place was found and removed. It hasn't been back since.

The total process took over a year and a half to solve and involved many people both amateur and professional. Any evil spirit can harm people if it wishes to and is allowed to, however, they usually cause us to hurt ourselves through our fear.

People without the salvation of the blood of Jesus Christ are easy targets for these spirits and are subject to possession (under their control). People under the blood of Jesus can not be possessed but can be oppressed (tormented). People under the blood of Jesus have nothing to fear from these spirits because the power they possess through Jesus is stronger than the power in the evil spirit. I am not saying that it can't hurt you but it can't destroy your soul which is the most important thing in spiritual affairs.

The Holy Bible is not only a practical manual for how to live with other people but a practical manual of how to live with the influences of the spiritual world also. A complete owners manual for the human condition. Read it, know it, accept Jesus, live it, and don't worry about these things that scare us.

Good-bye My Lady - Part VI

I thought that getting this secret out in the open would make the Lady better but it was to no avail. She grew more feble every day so one night I stayed awake all night to watch her as she slept. She was so frail I did not know if she would awaken the next morning.

I was about to dose off in my chair when in the small hours of the morning I noticed something in the upper level of the estate. It was a strange luminescent cloud glowing in the darkness in the Lady’s old bedroom. I had never seen anything like it nor had I ever herd of any such vision. I watched the cloud descended the stairs and settle upon the Lady. At that moment the Lady began to struggle for breath. In that instant I knew it was a spiritual entity so I jumped up grabbed the Holy Scripture at the corner of the Ladie's bed and rebuked the evil spirit in the name of the son of God. The vapor dissipated and the Lady recovered her breath.

As I awoke the Lady I inquired as to what had happened. All she could say was that she had the strange sensation that something was pressing the breath out of her.

Knowing that what I had seen was not a dream I started to inquire with the clergy at the cathedral. At first I thought that they would think I was mad but they listened to me intently. They knew of a dark secret of the estate. That it had once belonged to a pagan priest that the Lady’s grandmother and to a lesser extent her mother had entertained while delving into the pagan arts. While at the estate earlier the clergy had felt the presence of a malevolent entity. That is why they entreated me to relocate the Lady for it couldn’t be of her benefit to be near such a creature.

I was referred to a particular lady of the realm who had been a princess of the pagan arts but had been converted to the Christian arts and was skilled in spiritual warfare. Andromeda was her name and she lived in a neighboring village.

Andromeda was summoned and arrived late one afternoon. As she was led through the estate she stopped at the entrance to the Lady’s old bedroom. Entering the doorway she immediately turned and bolted down the stairway to the great hall where she collapsed in a chair. Running after her I inquired: “What did you see?” She said: “I saw nothing with my eyes but what I saw with my spirit was big, evil, and very old.”

Andromeda explained that the entity has lived in that room for a very long time and was looking for it’s next servant from the Lady’s linage. The Lady being of the right linage but not being acceptable due to her true Christian salvation angered the entity. It determined the Lady must be destroyed because she was useless to it.

Upon hearing of the demise of the Lady’s brother, mother, and the eccentric behavior of the Duke; Andromeda explained: “Lady; your mother blamed God for taking her favorite son instead of you so she turned against God. Then she turned you over to this entity. Since you are not suitable to serve the entity it wishes to destroy you and your linage so it can be free to persue other mortals. The things you found in the estate were planted for you to find by your mother. Your emotions awakened the entity to your presence. The Duke could not disturb this trap set by your mother because the entity would not let him. Like you the Duke could not recline and rest or the entity would try and push the breath out of him for he was also unsuitable as its servant. That is why the Duke always slept in a chair. The entity lives somewhere in that room in an old object made out of a living thing. Remove Lady from the estate and I will clean the estate and locate to hiding spot of the entity.”

Lady was removed from the estate and Andromeda and I cleansed ourselves, blessed our path, and used holy oil to cleanse the estate and a particularly strong aromatic mixture to locate the entity. As we moved through the estate we closed in on the Lady’s old bedroom. Essentially we began pushing the entity back into its home so it could be captured and destroyed. Slowly we advanced through each room. Nearing the doorway of the Lady's old bedroom the aroma of the mixture got so intense as to almost choke us. As we passed through the doorway into the room the aroma dissipated. Aproaching the doorway again the smell once again became intense. Andromeda said: “The door!! It is in the door!!” We covered the door in holy oil to seal in the beast then removed the door and took it outside the estate.

Andromeda further sealed the door arranged to have it taken to a safe place where the entity could not harm the Lady or any other mortals. Lady was moved back into the estate and was never again tormented in her sleep.

As the entity was removed from the property I could only imagine the entity saying: “Good-bye-My Lady for a time but I shall return.”

Updated Site !!!

Somehow my rating html got corrupted so I deleted that function. Also deleted is the tracking function.

Enjoy the basics that are still here.

TomKat

Good-bye My Lady - Part V

My Lady seemed to get weaker and weaker day by day. In desperation I called for the aide of the clergy from the nearby cathedral where we had met. The clergy arrived and proceeded to pray for the Lady. One of the clergy called me near and inquired as to why she was here and not in her own estate. I informed him of her having no one at the estate to care for her and I had also made a pact with the late Duke concerning her care. He intensely felt that this place was not good for her and that It might be better to take her to her own estate for she appeared to have given up on living any longer. They blessed the Lady, me, and the house and returned to the cathedral having done all that they could.

Later that day when the Lady appeared to be doing better I said to the Lady: “I think you would do better if you abide in your own estate. I would of course come with you and care for you.” The Lady began to cry. Not knowing what was the matter I inquired: “What is the matter?” The Lady cried even harder until she said: “I have no estate to go to. I have lost it to the merchants of the realm.” “What do you mean?” I said.

“When the duke of Newsprint became sick I spent all my remaining resources on his care. So that he would not know I also took usury against my estate. Since I have been sick my brother has sold all I had but couldn’t redeem the property so the merchants have taken it all. I sold you this property to try and redeem my estate but it wasn’t enough to satisfy the debt.”

“Why didn’t you tell me for I might have been able to do something to save it.” She just cried harder and said: “I wanted to be dead before you found out.”

There was nothing more I could say. Now I knew why she no longer wanted to live. I could not let her destroy herself over this issue so I told her: “Lady I am no longer purchasing this estate from you. I give the place of your birth back to you so that you will always have a place to live. I can find another estate when you are well enough to take care of yourself and this estate.” The Lady first refused my offer but I persuaded her so she accepted.

From her sick bed my Lady said about her ill fated estate: “Good-bye My Lady for I tried to save you but I failed.”

Cat Scratch Fever

Several days ago I was given a mission by Rubber Ducky. "Mr TomKat if you accept this mission any knowledge of your actions will not be reported to PETA for covert actions. Your mission is to catch two kitties, one red and one white, which the mother cat had just released from the nursery. They are to be used in a covert socialization experiment by Rubber Ducky and friends (caution Tweety Bird is near)". That sounded like a pretty easy assignment so I accepted the mission.

I knew the redhead would be a fairly easy catch but the blond could be a different story. I assembled a crack team of me for this assignment (how hard could catching cute little kittens be).

Arriving in the field I spied the mother cat with her three kittens near. The redhead was in a perfect position for capture since he was pinned against a wall. Stealthily I moved within range but suddenly I was spotted. The mother just looked on while the two blond kitties ran under the porch steps successfully evading capture, however, the redhead did just what I predicted and ran along the wall for an easy capture.

As the redhead protested the capture the mother cat just looked on disinterested so I whisked it away to the holding pen (bathtub). One down and one to go. Boy this assignment is easy.

I reposition myself and survey the targets. This time the white kitties make a tactical error. They are playing under the overturned wheelbarrow. Swiftly I move in to pet the mother cat as her kitties hide under the wheelbarrow. With cat like reflexes I lift up the wheelbarrow and grab a white kittie by the shoulders.

The fight was on. This kittie was skilled in hand to kittie combat. Instantly he contorted his head to get a death bite on my thumb and fore finger. In a matter of seconds he had inflicted numerous bites to these extremities. As I tried to reposition this kitten it claws were ripping at my other hand. Finally I managed to restrain the kittie in a position so that it could not bite me anymore.

Just when I thought I was in control of this expert warrior the mother cat mobilized into attack mode. She jumped on my leg with all claws and started climbing me like a tree. Being barely smart and very resourceful I knew when I was licked. I dropped the kittie and the mother jumped off to its aide. Better retreat than loose an eye. I retreated to the house and dressed my numerous wounds for the kittie was a valiant warrior.

I informed Rubber Ducky that the mission was a partial success. One kittie instead of two. Hindsight being twenty twenty it is obvious that the white kittie was already battle trained and too wild to submit to the socialization program as intended. He will serve best catching rats and snakes for a profession.

Good-bye My Lady - Part IV

As I surveyed my estate room by room I tried to imagine in what manner I would utilize each space from the lower level to the highest level which culminated in the bedroom of the Lady’s youth. For myself I chose a room on the lower level both for the dark foreboding ambiance and the soothing effects of a warm fire in the fireplace. The expanse of the room was also to my liking for it was almost as expansive as the great hall on the center level which was so loved by the Duke before me.

Lady would often come and visit to help with the decorating of each space. My furnishings were few since I had relocated so often since I lost my estate to the war. Slowly I acquired the necessary items to minimally furnish each area of the estate.

As time went on I noticed a change in the Lady. She curiously began to avoid the upper levels of the estate. One day when she looked extremely distressed I ask her what was the matter. She said: “I don’t feel comfortable in the upper levels of the estate. Especially in my old bedroom.”. I didn’t quite understand but told her to avoid that area if she was uncomfortable in those areas of the estate.

Little did I know what the estate was doing to the Lady or why. Memories of unpleasant incidents in the estate began to haunt the Lady to the extent that she became ill with a peculiar swooning illness which had almost taken her life in her youth.

The illness progressed with such intensity that the Lady could no longer care for herself in her own estate. She had a brother but he was prone to abandon the Lady for days while he attended to his business ventures.

Hearing of this and remembering my pact with the Duke I made a place for her in the great hall of my estate since it had easy access to all essential functions of the estate. Her illness made it difficult for her to move around the estate due to the extreme dizziness caused by the illness which usually made the Lady faint dead away when required to walk between areas of the estate. Subsequently the best alchemist in the province were summoned but they could offer little relief for they couldn’t determine the cause of the illness. Eventually she began to appear to hallucinate by hearing strange sounds and seeing strange sights in the estate especially emanating from the upper reaches of the estate. I became very concerned with her condition at this time because of its intensity and our inability to properly treat the disease. The resulting bleedings and leachings did nothing but drain her strength so eventually I put a stop to these practices which infuriated the alchemist so they left her with me untreated.

Meanwhile at her estate which had been left in the hands of her brother I received word that he had arranged and sold Lady’s coach and steed. Because she was ill and could not use them any longer he decided that he couldn’t afford to continue support of these items for he had little use for them. Unfortunately little did anyone know (especially Lady) that he was slowly selling off her property while she was away to settle some covert debts he had acquired.

Hearing of the sale of her coach and stead by her brother; the Lady was very much distressed. Eventually her brother convinced her that it was best since she couldn’t use them anymore and he would use the coin to keep up the estate while she was away.

I took it upon myself to arrange a deal with the new owner to allow the coach and stead to be taken to the Lady and give her one more ride. Even thought she was very sick she welcomed the chance for a last ride. As we finished the ride she stroked the stead and said: “Good-bye My Lady for I will miss you dearly”.

A Scary Thing Happened On The Way To Rock City

It was a day like any other day except I was stuffed in a camp bed too short for my six foot frame. The gentle rocking of the camper indicated that Woody Pop and Poolman were beginning to stir so I jumped up, got dressed, and went outside to survey the weather. For we were planning an all day motorcycle ride to Rock City and other interesting sites along the way.

As I wiped the dew from my Shadow Woody Pop said: "Get in here before your breakfast gets cold". As we ate we discussed the plans of attack for the trip. Since I was the local resident to the area I was chosen to take the lead of the expedition. Apparently they forgot about my getting us lost several times the day before and almost getting shot by some bird hunters (for scaring off the birds).

The bikes were prepared and the camper secured so we thundered out of the campsite. I with my Shadow in the lead and Poolman and Woody Pop on their Star behind. Down the road we thundered until we passed the nearest community with the Star in close persute. Later down the road I noticed the Star getting farther and farther behind. As I crested a hill and rode down the other side I slowed, and slowed, then stopped and waited. The Star never appeared.

I thought not again. For the last time I ran off from Poolman he had to take a 10-100 in the woods like a bear. I turned around and upon topping the hill I saw Poolman on the Star in the ditch with Woody Pop standing alongside.

The Star had picked up a nail and had thrown the rear tire which had landed them in the ditch. Fortunately everyone was unhurt even the Star. I whipped out my cell phone (Poolman and Woody Pop left theirs at the camper) and called for roadside service. Two hours and many duckies later the service truck whisked the Star away for reshodding. Woody Pop and I rode the Shadow back to the campsite to get the truck to rescue Poolman who was left with the Star.

Since the day was well spent and our plans were extensive it was decided to start the trip over the next day in the truck. Onward we rode in the truck back towards the campsite when we saw a trail marker that said "Waterfall Trail". Being avid hikers we decided to take this trail to the waterfall.

We disembarked the truck and proceeded to the trail head where we met a lady who accounted the tale of fleeing from "Ivan the Terrible" to the south. We wished her well and entered the trail. Not far along our path Woody Pop said: "WOOOO!!! I see a snake". There on the edge of the path was a snake a big snake which had just eaten something very large judging by the size of the bump in its middle. Its head was up looking at us and ready to strike anything in its range.

Not wanting to pass too close to the snake I threw a small stick on it to scare it off to no avail. Poolman threw a big stick on it but it just kept looking at us. Not to be defeated by this serpent I found a long slender stick with the intention of moving the snake into the brush. As I maneuvered the large stick from on top of the snake it lurched and slithered into the brush with a distinctive rattling sound. That is when we realized it was a rattle snake of about four feet in length and a very dangerous creature.

Onward we trudged on the trail to the falls. Onward to the other end of the trail but where was the falls? Making our way back we noticed a formation where a waterfall could have been if there had been any water available. We laughed about missing the falls during our last trip past that area. But then again we did expected to see water.

As we proceeded down the path we heard a curious sound: "Moooseeeee". A sound like we had never heard before. Woody Pop said "That sounds like a moose call". I said: "There aren't and moose in these woods". There it went again several times right over there in the distance. Woody Pop said: "Lets get out of here".

It was such a peculiar sound that I thought that it could be a wounded hiker so I called out several times for a response. Each time there was only silence. As we started back down the trail it "moooseeee" again and again until we arrived at the end of the trail.

We jumped into the truck and returned to the campsite. Since then I have talked to many hunters and hikers in this area and no one can explain what made the strange sound. No one had ever heard anything like it in this area before.

Thus ends our strange adventure. Skirting disaster two times and perhaps three in a single day. Such is the tale of another strange but true adventure of the TomKat.

Kitties Kitties Everywhere

My daughter's cat "Diablo" pulled a sneak attack while I was concentrating on overtime, my sister's vacation, and other assorted activities. She disappeared several weeks ago so I thought the neighbor had killed her but she appeared about once every week so I knew she was OK. I thought that she had decided to live in the woods with various other cats including the dominant male that I see occasionally.

She actually had a more sinister plan. She was having another litter of kittens under the house ( the official Hayseed Plantation cat nursery). This morning as I left the house I spotted three new kittens cuddling with Diablo. Two blonds and one red head. The two blonds ran for cover while the red head stood her ground. Diablo strolled up to me as to say "HA HA I gotcha again".
OH Well it is a pleasant surprise. Pegs is not so devious. She is pregnant and is as big as a house so she can't hide her condition. She will be hiding in the nursery any day now.

My daughter gave me Diablo to keep because her mother got tired of all the kittens she produced. She is known to be a regular cat factory and apparently pegs is following in her footsteps. I have three left out of the first eight with these two so we will see how many of these survive the neighbors and varmits. The ones that stay close survive but the ones who venture out don't. Maybe the neighbor will run out of ammunition one day. Diablo and Pegs have both been shot twice and I figure he shot most of the kittens also but have no proof. The last two grey kittens were seen running across the road into the neighbors teritory and were never seen again. Coincidence maybe but bullet holes don't come from natural varments but only from the two legged kind.

Rubber Ducky. Get them while they last or just wait another month for a new selection.

Happy Late Birthday

Twas the night before Saturday, when all through the land,
every creature was stirring except for the Man.
My plans had been made with extreme care,
in hopes that the birthday couple would soon be there.

The child-lings were texted on their cell phones,
while someone somewhere was enjoying an ice cream cone.
The trap had been set with such care,
I was certain that the child-lings would surely be there.

When out on the road there came such a sound,
it must be their trailer coming to town.
As I ran to the door to see what was the matter,
the diesel truck arrived with such a great chatter.

Behind it in tow was the great fifth wheel,
I told them to park it next to the hill.
With great skill and great care,
their camper was parked just over there.

While my bro-in-law exited the cab,
I next saw my sis she was drinking a Tab.
That they had arrived safe was not a shame,
the next thing I did was to call them by name.

Hi Toots! Hi Poolman! And how is the Box,
it has been much too long since I have seen his curry locks.
How is Toolbox and Shoebox and also Boxtop,
I was so excited it was hard for me to stop.

As time approached for my trap to spring shut,
I told them we were leaving but we couldn’t take the mut.
We loaded my car and set of on the road,
our destination was a secret and could not be told.

For that was the plan yes that was the trap,
To whisk them away before their afternoon nap.
Off we drove into the night,
they never expected what came into sight.

What did we see and what did we behold?
Just Poolman’s favorite restaurant which is “Hooters” I’m told.
Poolman was happy and filled with delight,
just as I was for my choice was just right.

As we entered the door there was a wonderful sight,
for Ma Ma Bear was there who just met them that night.
We settled into a table for an hour long feed,
the only question left was what food did each need.

Each person selected their food choice with much care,
it was a shame that the child-lings couldn’t be there.
We ate and talked and had a great time,
writing is tough when everything must rime.

The night was not over for the next step couldn’t wait,
but Ma Ma Bear couldn’t join us for we would stay up much too late.
We said our good-byes to Ma Ma Bear that night,
but the child-lings were waiting just out of sight.

For they were waiting to go to the races,
which was the next part of the night of strange places.
We all got together and had such a blast,
but we knew that the night just couldn’t last.

So: “Happy Birthday to all and to all a good Life!!!!”

"Bat Woman" Begins

In a providence not too far away in a time not too long ago lived a little girl. A peculiar little girl who spent most of her waking hours wondering in the woods, valleys, and mountains of her community.

One day while walking with her friend she spied a curious hole in the side of a cliff barely big enough to crawl through. Being a very curious child she inquired as to what could be on the other side. Her partner said: "I don't know and I don't want to know. There could be all kinds of critters in there." She begged him to let her look in the hole and see what was on the other side. He finally agreed and made her a fire stick to light her way.

It was agreed that she would only go in only as far as she could with him holding onto her legs. So in the hole she went crawling on her stomach. When she had gone as far as she could she rolled onto her back and looked around. What she saw was an amazing sight for covering the top of a small chamber were hundreds of little bats dangling above her head. At first she was frightened but then as she gazed at them her fears abated and she reached out to touch one. She gently plucked one off the ceiling and held it in her hand.

The bat lay in her hand motionless as if to say that it was OK for her to caress it gently. It was soft and smooth and barely weighed anything at all. After a time she returned the little bat back to its place on the ceiling where it gripped the ceiling tightly.

Immediately upon exiting the little cave she got quite excited and realized that she had always loved the scary little things that fluttered in the darkness of night making strange noises and diving at the campfire. From that moment on her life would be changed for she became devoted to learning about these little creatures and exploring the wonderful caves where they lived.

Even until this day the lady called "Bat Woman" loves to crawl through dark damp caves searching for bats, other creatures, and mysterious rock formations in the deep chasms of the earth. Every day she takes others on a journey with her into the dark recesses of the earth, teaching them of the mysteries of the deep places, and sharing her love and passion for one of God's wondrous creations.

COMMING SOON !!!!

Coming soon: More "Good-bye, My Lady".

For now overtime at work is king. Today I helped Rubber Ducky with a project which must be completed by tomorrow. My part is over. YA-HOO!!!! She must work the rest of the weekend so be nice to her. She is really quacking up lately. YIKES !!! I never knew duckies had teeth.

Next week is my turn. All of my projects are due next so the next installment of My Lady will be completed when I can. I am a free chance writer. I only write when I have a chance at free time.

Well my sister and brow-in-law arrive in the morning for a week long adventure. Hopefully work will not interfere too much but you can never tell at this time of the year.

Got to go clean house. Have a wonderful weekend. I know I will.

Friends of "Ducky"

Ladies, I hear that Rubber Ducky told you something I said the other day which offended her and your sensibilities. I apologize for the tack less comment both to you and especially to the "Ducky". It wasn't meant to harm, hurt, or offend. I have a dire lack in the social graces and often suffer from "Hoof in Mouth Disease". Please accept my apology.

The offence related to a reference to one of the following which are rules for dating given me by my friends or relatives:

First: Child-lings: Any potential date must be within two years older or five years younger. No children allowed younger than eighteen (no one can call me daddy but them).

Second: Friends & Relatives: Any potential dates must be under 125 pounds, near two thirds of my age, and rate an 8+ on the Hottie scale (most of my single friends operate under this one).

Others get even worse so I will not convey them.

My response to the first and second requirements is a good "belly laugh". Regular people (like me) need not apply. Those requirements don't suite me at all because they rule out chemistry, personality, and character.

Sometimes in explaining situations to people I say too much or just say the wrong things as in my conversation with the Ducky. That is a part of me that I am working on and also why I don't claim to be a gentlemen but do claim the Redneck status. As Jeff Foxworthy says: "A Glorious Absence of Sophistication".

Good-bye, My Lady - Part III

Lady paused at the entrance of the Duke of Newsprint (her late father) estate, which now was her possession. It was the place of her youth and brought many fond and foreboding memories all at the same time.

As Lady entered the estate she recognized the familiar places where she had always seen her father. His favorite chair at the window overlooking the garden and the comfortable lounge he enjoyed in the main hall. Curiously as she passed through the remainder of the house it appeared that it hadn’t been occupied in years. Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust. A shudder ran through her as she realized that nothing in the lower and upper levels of the house had been touched since her mother died many years earlier. Her mother’s favorite book even laid on the table just as it was on the day she died. All of her clothing still hung on the racks. Lady knew her father was an eccentric old man with many strange habits but she never expected this.

The task at hand was to clear out the old estate. Saving the valuable and discarding the old and useless. Lady contacted a good friend of hers named Britania to help her with the work for it was a very great task. Larger than even she had expected since her mother had left explicit instructions before she died: “Turn out every pocket in every garment and sort through every pile or bundle you find because there are hidden treasures inside.” These instructions turned out to be true, for her mother had buried most of her treasured possessions in the middle of worthless items.

Days passed as Lady and Britania cleared and cleaned one room at a time starting with the level occupied by the Duke. As time progressed they separated with Lady taking the upper level and Britania taking the lower level. Late one afternoon Lady screamed hysterically, ran from the estate, and collapsed on the lawn. Britania not knowing what was happening followed closely and tried to comfort Lady, however, Lady was inconsolable and would not return to the estate. Britania sent a messenger to get me at my friend’s estate where I was living at the time since I had lost my estate to a warring faction of a neighboring providence.

Later that evening I arrived and inquired of Lady: “What happened at the estate today?” Still quivering from the event she related to me the story about her older brother’s tragic death and how it had changed her life forever. The Lady said: “My brother died when I was twelve years old. He was the most important person to me in my life at the time because he was my protector and was the only person I felt who truly loved me. When he died I died with him.” I said: “What does that have to do with the estate today?” She said: “While cleaning the upper level I found the shirt he was wearing when he died. My mother had saved it all these years. Seeing it brought back the memory of his death and the intense pain of the emotions of which I have never been able to control. I am never going back to that estate.”

Several days went by as I consoled the Lady. Over time Lady realized that she needed to offer the estate to someone who could give it the care it required. She had acquired the estate where she resided years earlier and had no need of the second estate. During our conversation she offered me the estate for a sum of coin that I couldn’t refuse. I agreed to buy the estate only if she would help me clean all the property out of it. She eagerly agreed.

The two of us returned to clear the estate, however, it was a very traumatic ordeal for the Lady. For many items were found belonging to her brother at the time of his death which I promptly discarded. Each item found hurt Lady very badly and sent her into very severe emotional convulsions which I had to comfort her through. I thought it very odd that Lady’s mother would keep such items, especially in the manner in which they were stored; each in a different location of the estate. As time went on the reasons would be revealed but for now it remained a mystery.

At the beginning of the new year the estate was ready so I proceeded to purchase it from the Lady. As I first entered the estate as my estate; I looked at Lady and thanked her for being so generous to me by offering it at such a fair price. She said: “It is worth it to keep you near.” I thought this an odd statement but many things about the Lady are odd.

As My Lady bid me farewell she turned to the estate and said: “Good-bye My Lady for I will visit you soon.

Good-bye My Lady - Part II

News came to me that Lady’s father the Duke of Newsprint was getting worse by the day so I decided to pay him a visit. I found him sitting in the dark infirmary on the edge of his cot (for some strange reason he hated lying down) glaring at me. I inquired about his health and how Lady was handling his illness but all he would talk about was his new four-horse chariot. It was his pride and joy and he inquired as to what was to become of his chariot if he died. I told him that I had no use for it since I had plenty of chariots and it would go back to the previous owner who he was still indebted to. That strangely seemed to satisfy him and we proceeded to have a cordial conversation. Later Lady told me that he liked me but that he thought that I had came to visit him to get money or acquire his chariot from him. He was a very cautious man concerning his wealth because he had so many subjects relying upon his generosity.

I visited the Lady and the Duke many times during the next few months. The Lady cared for the Duke day and night without rest so every few days a subject would agree to take care of the Duke while I took Lady out for a ride in the country. There we had many adventures but those are for telling under different tales.

Later in the year I received word that Lady was asking for my help with the Duke’s care so I agreed to help for one night. The Duke had always been a self-reliant man of action and just couldn’t fathom the possibility of not being able to go where he wanted or when he wanted; however, the Duke at this point had become confined to the cot.

The Lady was vexed with the Duke’s constant attempts to leave the safety of the cot. She hoped that my presence would help sooth his troubled mind. Once when Lady had left the room he looked at me with his soulful eyes and said: “Watch for her.” He then proceeded to attempt another escape from his imprisoning cot. With all his strength he couldn’t get up so he settled back into his cot one more time.

In the small hours of the morning when the Lady had retired the Duke looked at me and said: “I AM GETTING OUT OF THIS COT!!!” I looked back at him and said: “Go ahead if you can. Your mind is strong but your body is weak.” For over an hour the Duke tried to no avail. Just like a new colt rebelling against the bridal and saddle.

In the darkness of early morning the Duke finally looked back at me and said: “ I will never get out of this cot." The look in his eyes was the same dull look as the colt who finally resigns itself to the bridle and saddle. In that moment he realized that his fate was sealed.

The next morning when Lady awoke she found a man resigned to his fate who never again tried to be released from the cot.

The Duke embraced death bravely, however, he hated intensely leaving Lady behind with no one to protect her. During one of my subsequent visits with the Duke he made a pact with me to be her protector upon his death. It was a great honor and I accepted the charge, which gave him great joy for he was truly concerned for her future.

That next week the Duke died with Lady at his side. He left her with a smile and said: “I want to take you with me but I can’t so Good-bye My Lady until we meet on the other side.”

MISSION "IRRESISTABLE"

Phone rings: “Mr. TomKat, You are being tasked to be part of a crack team of “Shadow Warriors” assigned traffic detail at the Froggie Triathlon in Scottspatch. If you accept this assignment you will give up mega duckies of overtime pay and will incur the wrath of “Rubber Ducky”. This message will auto disconnect in three seconds.” I hang up quick before the phone goes up in smoke (I loose more phones that way).

Decisions; Decisions: Work…Play…Work…Play. Heck farrr!!! That one is a no brainier: “WE PLAY.”

Early the next morning the team assembles. Painter and I join up with Mad Dog, John Boy, Fly Boy, and others at the goose pond where more than 350 prime athletes had assembled for a 400 meter swim, 25 kilometer bicycle ride, and a 5 kilometer run.

The bicycle event was the second leg of the competition. Our job was simple: Protect the cyclist from highway traffic, help distressed riders, and ensure fair racing by the competitors. As the competitors left the gate we would escort groups of approximately 30 riders at a time. Only Painter had any action (helped with a flat tire). The event went smooth without any casualties except for the occasional fall when competitors disembarked their bikes.

Two things impressed me about this event. The first was the determination of the competitors of all skill levels and ages (under 10 to over 60). The exhilaration of seeing the professionals hit over 30 MPH in the stretches and the heart of the little girl whose bike was stuck in low gear (pedaling like crazy) who finished the race (last but definitely not least). The other thing was the gratitude of the competitors for the small part the Shadow Warriors played in the event. They repeatedly called us their heroes for keeping them safe. To me they were the heroes of the event because this couch potato couldn’t even start the first leg of the event, much less all three.

This event showed me that even the smallest sacrifice we make for our fellow man can and usually is appreciated by the recipient. Even if it isn’t openly recognized as it was in this case, that doesn’t negate the benefit to others.

After the event Painter and I toured the hills of Tennessee on what I call the “Road Kill Tour” (many dead critters littered the highway from deer to raccoon). We even tracked the elusive “Sport Bike”. Rounding a corner on top of skyline mountain we approached a sport bike running slow on the highway (potential road kill). We approached carefully because just like a deer they can be unpredictable. As we approached to pass, it bolted for cover. In less than 30 seconds it was gone (impressive but scary). For the next few miles I scoped the trees in the curves for signs of a missed one. Fortunately the sport bike made a clean getaway.

Arriving home at about 1630 I made the mistake of calling Rubber Ducky at her work number. She was there and she was pissed because I wasn’t there. HA If I don’t show up this afternoon there will be HELL TO PAY. But there again “Who is Afraid of the Rubber Ducky”.

Good-bye, My Lady - Part I

I came across Lady in the holy cathedral in the providence of Madison. It was a chance meeting that I could never forget only for the fact that I had been challenged to a duel of words over the Holy Scriptures by Count Draco. As it happened as determined by fate the Lady was in attendance to this spectacle with many other dansels of the realm. Little did I know the consequences of this duel for as I dueled with the count, everytime I scored a point I unwittingly cast a smile and then a wink in the direction of the Lady. Unawares to me I was capturing her heart with every glance.

One week later while leaving the cathedral I saw Lady riding on a beautiful coach pulled by a pure white stead which pranced with the grace of a pure Mustang. I couldn’t help but call to her as she passed by to inquire about the fine stead pulling the coach. Before I knew it she challenged me to take a ride in the country with her in exchange for a ride on my black stallion Shadow. Not to be outdone in front of my peers I accepted the offer.

Within the week we were off on a journey in her coach. Lady wished to visit the apple orchards in the province of Jackson. Since neither of us had ever actually traveled there we took the path that we knew passed by the orchards. While on this journey as Lady and I conversed it occurred to me that Lady was much younger in heart and mind than her age indicated. This intrigued me and further endeared her to my heart. As we progressed in our journey the twin towers of the holly woods loomed upon the horizon. At that point Lady and I had to agree that we had apparently missed the entrance to the orchards long ago. Such is the hazards of traveling with such a charming companion.

Lady suggested that we forget about the orchards today and take a detour to the golden pond of Gunter village and obtain sustenance there for it was reported to have the best inn in the realm.

Neither of us being hungry at the moment of arrival, we decided to sit along the bank of the golden pond. Far into the pond we could see a strange looking man swimming far from shore. Lady said: "Isn’t it strange for a man to be swimming so far from shore during this season.” And yes I did think it strange but I had seen many stranger things before. All of a sudden from an apparent ledge near the edge of the water appeared a most wondrous sight. It appeared to be a bare lady playing in the edge of the water. Lady and I were most shocked to see such an inappropriate sight. Lady blushed and I averted my eyes as the lady at the waters edge bobbed up and down in and out of our view. Just as we were about to depart out of modesty the man swam toward shore. The lady on shore dove into the water followed by two young boys. Or so it seemed. As we saw them swim away Lady noticed that they appeared to have no legs. Further observation revealed that they had fins instead of legs.

What a marvelous sight!!! We had often heard the legend of Mermaids but to actually see Freshwater Mermaids was especially rare. Needless to say the conversation over the meal and the journey home was especially special.

Arriving near Lady’s home she inquired if I would be so kind as to detour to the local blacksmith’s house because her elderly father was receiving leach treatments for a severe illness. Upon our arrival we approached the cot where her father was resting. After cordial greetings Lady’s father drew me near to him and asked of my intentions with the Lady because he knew that Lady was of young heart and mind and could be easily decieved by smooth talking men. I reassured him that I was a man of honor and was wise enough to not take advantage of his daughter. He made me swear on pain of the sword that I would not disgrace his daughter.

Taking our leave we arrived at Lady’s abode where I gathered up my stead and bid my lady: “Good-bye My Lady until we meet again.”

TWEETY BIRD (you know who you are)

You have a Shotgun problem. You just can't seem to flitter over to the shooting range. I have two solutions to your problem.

1. Be in full combat gear by 1030 every weekday and be ready to respond to the call for action.

2. Schedule combat action with Rubber Ducky.

Rubber Ducky will protect you from the "Bad O Putty Tat" (bring backup if necessary).

Good-bye, My Lady - Prologue

Good-bye My Lady by James Street is a book that I read in high school but never forgot. It is your basic story about a country boy who finds a stray dog. He takes in the dog and they become best buddies and are essentially unseperatable. All is right with the world but there has to be a twist in every story. During a trip to town the boy discovers that his dog actually has a previous owner who is offering a reward for the dogs return. Tormented with the prospect of loosing the dog he wrestles with himself over being selfish and keeping the dog or doing the right thing and giving the dog back to its rightful owner. In the end he returns the dog and collects the reward, which he uses to buy his grandfather a new set of false teeth which he had been needing but couldn’t afford.

In some ways life can be like this story. With people and things coming and going within our lives we have to make choices either to hang on or let go. Sometimes it is in our control and sometimes not. The tale I am about to tell is about a lady. A rare lady of virtue, love, patience, and long suffering. We will just call her Lady.

COMMENT CORNER

Lisa 1: See comment in "Message From Lisa" post.

Billy: First let me say that I love your "BillycTV" site. It is an inspiration to me. Now for business. At the end of my post page is the playlist gadget from playlist.com. By hitting the "Create Your Free Playlist" button on the gadget you will be taken to the playlist.com site (temporarily down right now for maintenance). Once you set up an account, select your songs by title or band, and use the create code feature then you can copy the created code to a "HTML/JAVA Script" gadget on your page. Like magic it is there. When the songs on your playlist is changed on playlist.com it is also changed on your post site automatically.

THANKS SIS: That means a lot coming from you. Love you and see you soon.

All: Check out "HAYDEN EPISODE I" at the end of my post page. Grandson No. 1 birth. You need to pause the playlist song from playing for maximum enjoyment. Also keep the comments coming. They make the blog exciting.

COME SAIL AWAY

I'm sailing away
Set an open course for the virgin sea
I've got to be free
Free to face a life that is ahead of me
On board, I'm the captain
So climb aboard
We'll search for tomorrow
On every shore
And I'll try, Oh Lord, I'll try
To carry on


I look to the sea
Reflections in the waves spark my memory
Some happy
Some sad
I think of childhood friends And the dreams we had
We live happily forever
So the story goes
But somehow we missed out
On the pot of gold
But we try
Best as we can
To carry on


Excerpt: Come Sail Away by Styx, Written and sung by Dennis Deyoung


Ever had a time in your life where you felt like you were just drifting at sea? Going but not really going. Doing but not really doing anything significant. I think we all have at one time or another.

Are we guilty pulling along side people in their ships and just waiving as they pass instead of lending a helping hand when we see their distress signal or just guiding them to fair winds to help advance their travels. What about meeting them in port and exchanging good food, drink, and conversation to lift their spirits before setting off on their next journey.

Using our experiences (whatever they are) to build friendships, restore crushed self respect, or just helping others is the true "Spice of Life".

Everything we do is null and void (inner emptiness) if we attempt to hurt people, hold them down, or hold them back from being the best they can be. The Bible says to "Love Your Enemies" and "Do Good To Those Who Abuse You". If we can do that for our enemies then we should be able to do even better for our friends and acquaintances. Even if you don't believe in the Bible or the "GOD" that I know than you should respect the value of every human life (even the unborn).

People ask me why I do sacrificial things for my friends on occasion. It is not because I am being manipulated by skilled con-artist. It does have everything to do with helping needy or hurting people whenever, wherever, and however I can out of my own free will.

A southern saying goes: "There Ain't No Free Lunch". That is true. Someone always has to pay the tab, you just can't see who.

I only help people who demonstrate a "Can Do, Will Do, or Have Done All I Can" attitude. Responsibility for oneself is vitally important to me. The "Entitlement Crowd" gets nothing from me because they are not willing to pay for lunch every once in a while like the rest of us. I act upon the "If You Don't Work Than You Don't Eat" principle.

If you feel like an empty ship on the sea not doing anything significant or going anywhere than you should just throw a lifeline to someone who is swimming outside your boat as hard as they can and still can't stay afloat. Throw the line, take them aboard, feed them to renew their strength, and make them one of your crew.

Remember it is easier sailing along in this world with an abled body crew than to sail alone.

COMMENT CORNER

Mitch: I ride my bike as much as possible. Last month I put over 1000 miles on it which is typical in the spring, summer, and fall. I enjoy riding single, double (women only), and in groups. I will be posting tales in the future about the "Shadow Warriors" which is my main biking group. So far my longest trip has been 450 miles one way (continuous) but trips of up to 200 miles are common for the weekends.

Lisa: I have many women friends in my life whose identities will not be divulged as specified in my page introduction (protect the guilty). I do not need or want to be rescued from any of my friends. I choose my friends and I choose who I associate with so don't claim me for yourself too soon. I am not for sale or on the auction block. But thamks for your interest.

How I Spent My "MEMORIAL" Vacation

Since this is Labor Day weekend and I have to do yard and housework all weekend than I will tell about my Memorial Day vacation. This tale starts a week before memorial weekend. Shades and I already had reservations for three days and two nights in Gattlinburg, TN for the weekend and I was trying to schedule a trip to Wyoming in July through my time share. Just when they were finalizing the trip I was told that this years points would expire in May (not July as I thought) and couldn't be used for that trip and I didn't have enough remaining points from next year to book the trip. Most of my points for next year were already spent on child-ling #2's first wedding anniversary trip to a ski resort. That left only two weeks to use this years points. As a result I had the book a resort in St. Augustine, FL for the day after the Gattlinburg trip.

All appeared well with what now was a week long trip. No problem (I had plenty of leave to cover). I even found a go-cart race just north of Gattlinburg for Saturday so I decided to leave Friday afternoon, get a room in Cleveland, TN, and go to the race Saturday.

All this time I had a bug to buy another motorcycle since summer was coming and I had to sell my last one to buy my micro farm. The farm deal was settled and I just wanted one bad. When I left Cleveland to go to the go-cart track I passed a motorcycle dealership having a tent sale so Shades and I stopped in. Shades found it first. I almost missed it. It was a bike just like my old one but with a little different styling and more optional features. Through much debate with myself I ended up buying the bike and the rest of the weekend we rode all over the smokey mountains. We had a great time but missed the go-cart races.

Buying the bike did create a problem. We were scheduled to leave Gattlinburg on Monday morning and had to be in St. Augustine by 6 PM Monday evening. What to do with the car and bike? Either drive them both to St. Augustine or drive the bike home and then leave for St. Augustine. The only real solution was to drive the bike home on Sunday and leave from there Monday morning.

Sunday afternoon (a day early) we left for home. Me on the bike and Shades in the car. Just as my luck would have it in the middle of nowhere it started to rain. I pulled over and let the rain blow through. At that point I told Shades that if the rain returned I was just going to continue on. As soon as I started I hit more rain (continuous) and just rode on for about half an hour until a Wally World was spotted. I was soaked to the bone but stopped in and bought a rain suit. That made the next three hours in the rain tolerable.

I was used to riding a motorcycle in the rain so it wasn't too bad, however, five miles from the house I looked in my rear view mirror and saw "blue lights" pulling Shades over to the curb. I started to stop but decided to continue to the house, change cloths, and go back to rescue her. Don't be too hard on me on this issue since I was soaked to the bone for over three hours on a motorcycle with no tag (blew off in the rain), all the sales papers were buried in the trunk, and it wasn't worth the risk of getting two tickets.

Before I could change my clothing Shades arrived at the house. The policeman thought she was drunk. As I swerved to miss the water in the road she would swerve with me which made her appear to be a drunk driver. At least she didn't get a ticket. She was a little shook up when I left her alone with the officer. She said to herself "TomKat don't leave me !!! : BUT I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE !!!".

The next day we left in the car for St. Augustine. The resort there was wonderful. The rest of the week was just a great week. The only disappointment that we had was that we didn't get into the water in the bay or beach. That first day of riding the bike Shades leg found the exhaust pipe and had a bad burn (very painful) on he ankle that we had to protect. I have learned that if something can happen bad for Shades it usually does but she is tough and tries to not let it limit her too much.

Overall it was a good vacation adventure. I can't wait for my next.

SUPER DAD !!!

Tonight was a rendezvous with child-ling # 3 at her favorite restaurant. While we were eating and discussing her first week in college she received a text message with a picture of a boy she didn't know holding up his shirt showing his abbs. She said "This strange guy sent me his picture. He must have the wrong number. Soon after he sends more messages. This is the text messages that followed:

Child-ling: "Sorry but you sent your picture to the wrong number."
Dude: "My name is Dude and I like you. We need to meet."
Child-ling: "I don't know you so buzz off."
Dude: "Don't be that way, we need to meet."

At this time I put on my cape and tell child-ling to hand me the phone. This is what follows:

Super Dad: "Where do you live?"
Dude: "I live in "X" town and go to "Y" school."
Super Dad: "My daughter said buzz off so you had better buzz off. I have your picture, name, location, and school. I can find you. (sent with super dad picture).
Dude: " What the @#*$."
Super Dad: "What the @#*$ is right: it is your ass."
Dude: "I will never text this number again."
Super Dad: "Smart dude. Now me and my biker buddies won't have to go hunting."

End of conversation. Child-ling and I got a good laugh. She knows that Super Dad will always be there to protect her. Child-ling # 3 said "Where were you last year when "Q" tried to hit up on me." I may be Super Dad but even I can't be everywhere at once. We had another good laugh.

It really felt great to once again put on that cape and rescue the child-ling from evil and injustice as only a Super Dad could.

MESSAGE FROM LISA

Lisa wants me to share her thoughts:

EVERY DAY:
SMILE
SAY GOOD MORNING
PRAY FOR OTHERS AS WELL AS YOURSELF
GIVE A LITTLE OF YOUR TIME
OPEN A DOOR FOR SOMEONE
OFFER FRIENDSHIP TO RECEIVE FRIENDSHIP
JUST BE KIND
LEND A HELPING HAND
GIVE A COMPLIMENT OR PAT ON THE BACK
GIVE PRAISE
WORK A JOB WELL
SHOW RESPECT
VISIT THE ELDERLY
GIVE A HUG
SHARE A KISS
LISTEN TO WHAT OTHERS HAVE TO SAY
LISTEN TO THE BIRDS SINGING
KEEP IN TOUCH WITH FRIENDS
SHARE MEMORIES
SAY I LOVE YOU AND MEAN IT
GIVE ENCOURAGEMENT

The most improtant thing to share with others is a kind heart and let them know that you will be there when times are good and bad.

Well said Lisa.

REVELATION - Awareness Training

In responding to M. Jones last night I became aware of a social dysfunction that I possess. In a strange way I reject people without even knowing it. That is why most people's first opinion of me is either "Jerk" or "Elitist" (I never understood this perception). It is a true handicap such as a speech impediment not in the sense that it is socially unacceptable but in the sense that it does make social communication a little more difficult than someone without the impediment.

I DON'T SEE SMALL STUFF !!! You may say "BIG DEAL" what is the problem with that. Well it can be a big deal in a social setting. People (especially women) communicate in subtle ways. When those subtle signals are ignored by someone than that person is filed under jerk or elitist automatically. The poor slob never saw that he had dismissed someones signal and would never do that on purpose but that doesn't negate the offence.

I knew I had this small stuff problem all my life but never knew why until a standard shrinkology test confirmed the cause. Brain wiring from birth that can't be fixed. But maybe it can be trained a little. I really never thought of it as a problem except in my marriage (You never notice my hair, new dress, new curtains, etc.). Now I see it ranges into all my social ventures.

Awareness Training: One more thing for my to-do list (any suggestions?).

COMMENT CORNER (SOCIALIZATION)

M. Jones I love your questions and comments. Most of them you answered yourself. You can't really know a person in a one time meeting. You can form a first impression either through instinct (attraction or warning) or a response to their looks, body language, etc. Knowing a person takes time being with them and somehow getting them to stop their social act as you call it. Basically we all have some level of the fear of rejection. In business you are confident to talk to people because they can't reject you but only whatever your business represents. In a social environment you are putting yourself on the line for rejection. We (you and I) tend to talk to people that we think will not reject us. Sometimes we pick the right person to talk to and sometimes we pick the wrong. In a social environment I like you tend to stay quiet and listen until I feel comfortable sharing my ideas or opinions. There again sometimes I am accepted into the group conversation and other times I am ignored and remain on the outside of the group. Those are the risk we must take in a social environment. Minimizing my fear of rejection and maximizing my risk factor is my goal for socializing.

When I was married my wife and I slowly became an island unto ourselves. In 20 years of marriage I developed no real friends but many acquaintances. During the divorce process I realized that all my friends were from before my marriage and several of those were driven away and have never returned. Now I must learn how to develop new friends all over again and it is a tough process but I have a plan.

The first step is DON'T CARE if people like you are not. Be yourself all the time. Shed the act if you can. High risk I admit.

If people get a bad first impression of you (very high probability for me for some unknown reason) try and give them the opportunity to get a second or third impression (some people will not give you any chance after the first - write them off and go on). ALL my new friends had a bad first impression of me but I gave them an opportunity for a second impression which they accepted and it payed off for both of us.

DO NOT let the fear of rejection scare you from approaching other people (this is the hardest for me I have to admit - work in progress).

Find a true (fearless) people person and hang with them. They will attract people like a magnet and give you a chance to meet new people. I have a good friend like this that I hang with. She can talk to a bowling ball in a pool parlor and talk them into playing checkers.

And always BE YOURSELF. No acting allowed.

Expect others around you to be acting but give them a chance if you can to let down their guard.

That is my plan. There are probably better ones but this is the one I developed. Now to see if I can do it so it can work its magic.

Now for the final question: Yes!! God put a lady in my life just after the divorce who has become my best friend. She is the people person referenced above. We do many crazy (most would say) things together and have had many adventures. We help each other as true friends. Like JOB in the bible she has had more medical trials than anyone I have ever known. I have been there for her when she couldn't function and she gave me a reason for going on through the heartache of divorce. I needed to be needed and she needed me for her survival. She kept my feet on the ground like no one else could. Now that she is better I am teaching her to grow up ( 15 in a 50+ body) and take care of herself since I helped bury the last family member she could rely on to protect her from her nieve self. She was never allowed to mature properly so that she could be manipulated by her family. In three years she has grown to an adult in most respects and I am proud of her. Others helped during the year long divorce but she helped after the divorce.

THE KING ??? and I

Once upon a time in a country not too far away lived a King of notable reputation. He was skilled in all manner of affairs concerning the neighboring clans and kingdoms. Assigned to this king was a trusted guard who was well liked by the King. This guard had a particular child-ling of approximately six years of age. During certain holiday feast the King would invite his guards, servants, honored yeomen, and their families to the celebration. For he was a very wise king and knew the advantages of keeping his closest subjects happy.

One day a stranger to the kingdom noticed the good relationship between the king and his trusted guard while attending a speech to the kingdom's subjects. When the speech was done and the King's procession passed by she noticed a little girl calling to her daddy with pride. The stranger perceived that the little girl was calling to the guard and inquired of the girl. "Have you ever met the king?" The little girl looked perplexed and turned to her mother. The mother said: "Do you remember the man who let you ride on his pony during the festival?" The little girl looked at the stranger with a sparkle in her eye and said: "OH!!! You mean GEORGE." For the little girl did not see a "king" as everybody else did. All she saw was a kind man who was her friend.

We should all be more like the little child and not look for the social status, power, position, or wealth of others but instead we should be looking for the character of the person. The little girl knew what was really important.